Mother of all Weekends

Last year Sukie referred Guildy and Shinobi to an event in Moab, Utah, called Raft for the Cure, a rafting and eating expedition where half of the proceeds benefit Susan G. Komen for the Cure Salt Lake City.

Well, they went, and had ridiculous amounts of fun. Which made us ridiculously sad that we were not able to go 🙁 But we all have times in our lives where other things need the funds, and so the funds go to other things.

This year, we went, we saw, and we had a blast.

By blast, I mean, I would definitely go again! The rapids were not as rapid as the ones I went through on the Snake river up north in Idaho, but I was excited to go down the Colorado, spend some outside time with friends, and remember how much the sun hates me.

Wear sunscreen. Also, remember that sunscreen is going to be washed off when you jump in to the friggin river. I just couldn’t resist.

However, maybe I should have waited until after I’d lost 40 pounds. Except that probably wouldn’t have happened while on the boat, so I went for it anyway. The details of getting back in the boat for a 230 pound man are a subject of extreme hilarity. Like 2 people pulling and 1 person pushing. I very much blame my poor fitting life-jacket, which, though i could adequately tighten it around my large belly, also expected me to have rather large man-boobs to go with it, which sadly, I am not there … yet.

So I get on the boat and I’m just tired because it took a lot of effort to get in, and so Shinobi goes to pull his wife in and of course he must have just ratched up all the Ninja strength he has because she is lifted out of the water so easily that they both just topple over and there’s now three people floppin around in an unsteady boat and it’s just comical.

So I’m totally motivated to lose the poundage now, with a new target of 185-195 pounds. I don’t like to be tied to a number, but it’s gotta be lower than what I am now. Sheesh. So we got pulled pork sandwiches for dinner (though I could have eaten a lot more of those tasty burgers we had for lunch) and listened to three musical acts. The first was a girl whose music sounded a lot like Alanis Morisette or Jewel but wasn’t quite there and involved a lot of girlish self-doubt lyrics and being upset and you get the picture. Chicks, man. The next two acts were incrementally better, High Water and then a bluegrass band who absolutely rocked, but we just couldn’t stay for the 10 minute video at the end because we were wiped out. I slept the whole night in the tent on the mattress, I woke up a couple of times (twice, I looked over and the boy was sitting straight up. The second time I noticed that he was off the mattress and clearly not awake enough to realize that the reason he was sitting up was to get back on the mattress.)

So on the day we were leaving (yes, this blog is very non-linear) Sukie tells me that Guildy doesn’t want to go back to Moab next weekend (for the 4th!) because it will be raining. As I’ve recently been through a rainy camping trip I can tell you, this is brutal, and I was getting sold on the idea. So with me and Guildy in the ‘not going to Moab on the 4th of July’ group I was pretty sure we wouldn’t be going. However, half an hour before Sukie and I arrived in Moab (Guildy, Shinobi, and Guildy’s coworkers J and R arrived two hours before us), Guildy and Sukie talked and Guildy said ‘now that I’m here we’re totally coming back next weekend’ (that was to me from Sukie so it may not be 100% correct.) So now I was on the outs, but I’m good with that. One man against one woman is already an uphill battle, but you can’t win against two of thems.

Favorite moment:
“Ally’s boat is ready”
me to Shinbi: “but what about Ally’s sister’s boat”
“come back Ally’s boat! come back Ally’s Sister’s boat!”
*high fives*

eh, it was funny when we were standing around on a dock, waiting to leave. Our guide, Leland, had us ready to rock and roll well before any of the other boats but because of the order the boats were tied up we had to wait a long time while other people got to go. Lameness!

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2 Responses to Mother of all Weekends

  1. Sarah says:

    Great recap! My favorite quotable moments were the boy introducing himself as the offspring of Sukie and Wudan and his tragic fall at the campsite which included the statements “everything hurts” and “everything is broken”. Awesome weekend! Looking forward to next. 🙂

  2. Wudan says:

    I should say the downfall of the whole trip was the 3 ladies on our raft with us. They were sooooo old. If only we had the foresight to throw em over we’d have been cruisin’!

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