If you know Sukie and myself as well as we know ourselves, you’d know that Sukie loves a good deal. So when she found a 5 gallon aquarium for cheap on Craig’s List, she jumped at the chance to pick it up. So we trekked on down past the point of the mountain, and, after much bizarre Google-Map direction wrangling (the maps don’t print out so well, which makes the bizarre directions hard to follow,) we completed the mission and were one 5 gallon tank closer to happiness.
But on the way back, Sukie saw an abandoned road sign – a Yield sign, which we decided we would attempt to purloin, for our own benefit.
I think we all know the wages of sin. I didn’t really see said sign, and we overshot it, so we hatched a plan where I would get out of the car, walk back, pick up the sign and put it in the trunk and be off like bandits.
Walking up the road, looking for a sign – and I found one, on the outskirts of a yard, propped up on a cable box and a TV tray of some sort. I was curious, who would prop up a sign in such a fashion, and walked around to the other side. It had, scrawled on the non-sign part of the sign, “Free Dirt” – it looks like this sign had already been recycled.
Of course, all this activity registered on the radar of the sign’s apparent ‘owner’, and he started out of his garage to come and have a talk. I really didn’t know that he was coming, honest, but by this time Sukie was in the center lane, trunk popped, and anxiously awaiting the retrieval of the sign. I waited for my chance, went and talked to her and about when I got to the trunk (and shut it) did I really become aware that the sign’s ‘owner’ was coming towards me (though still far enough away,) I started for the passenger door and when I opened it –
“What were y’all doin’?” the agitated sign ‘owner’ queried, unaware that mischief was now off the evening’s menu.
The door shut and we were gone down the road. I turned and saw the guys hands up in the air in a ‘W’ shape made by somebody who is asking ‘WTF?’ – WTF in deed.
Of course, my brain can’t help but think of answers to his question – what were we doing? How to explain it to his simple mind? Of course, our silence on the matter only brought a level of abstraction to this interaction – he’s probably still puzzling over it right now – what were we doing?
“My yield sign ran away from home – I thought that might be my sign, but it’s not.”
“I was going to steal your stolen sign.”
“I’m with the city – you will be fined for that sign!”
“Y’all got varmints?”
I would feel bad if I had taken a sign that someone else had already salvaged and claimed – that would be stealing – which is why I left the sign. Who doesn’t want a cool road sign though? On the top of my list is ‘Wrong Way’, which just seems like a cool sign. I would want to study it to come up with a better sign, one that would really catch your attention, should you happen to be going the wrong way – something like ‘Wrong Way, Moron’, which is just better, in my oppinion.
“Speed Hump”, I tell ya.
I once knew a guy who had a bunch of signs in his garage. “Neighborhood Watch” was probably the funniest.
That was his only redeeming attribute.
I still want a sign that says “Wrong Way, Moron”, or at least a photoshop version 🙂
your wish, sir…
I’m glad we weren’t with you guys when you did that. Me and Jared’s anxiety would have shot through the roof.
LOL – could you imagine Wudan & Theorb talking farmer talk to the guy. . . (cracks me up just thinking bout it) 🙂
Farmer: “Now, you listen here, kids, I stole that sign fair and square to give away my dirt, now you can’t go stealin’ it back! How’s a man s’posed to give away his dirt?!”
Me: *Stabs farmer in the face with the sign.*